Dude’s List: 11 Lies Women Tell Men Friday, Sep 30 2011 


So, I found this website and I kinda like this guy! Ladies, here is a list of 11 Lies Women Tell Men. I have to be honest I may have said one or two of these. I mean sometimes just like women, men can’t handle the truth, just saying…

Dude’s List: 11 Lies Women Tell Men

By The Dude •

Alright, this one’s going to piss off some, make others chuckle, and probably piss off some more. But bottom line, no one’s 100% honest all of the time and there’s no question we boys have made an omission or two with you…but then you most certainly have with us, too! Here’s a Dude’s List dose of the tall tales we’ve been told by you ladies. Take a look in the mirror…

“You’re the biggest I’ve ever had”
I don’t blame any woman for ever saying this to a man because we beg you to tell us this lie. We need this lie. We poke and prod until you tell us we’re big enough. Call it an emotional hand job. And it’s appreciated. And hopefully he’ll return the favor (with whatever the equivalent is. What is the female equivalent?)

“It was…great, really.”
Again, we’re asking for it. We’re not all sexual dynamos. Or competent. Some of us suck in the sack. Maybe it’s a lack of chemistry or we came too soon, but sometimes we screw up the screwing. And we generally know it. I mean, we have an instinct that we didn’t do it…right (there are some obvious signs and some we choose to be oblivious of). I mean, what are you going to tell us when we’re still naked and sweating? Most polite answer, really. And it’s appreciated. Of course, sometimes this lie is followed by: “I’ve got to go. I’ll call you.”

“I’ll call you.”
We’re not the only ones who use it! Way better than an outright rejection, right? Let them down gently? Tsk, tsk, tsk. We all should practice the Golden Rule a bit more. Of course, this isn’t the only way to blow a guy off…or cover something up.

“I’ve got a friend coming in this weekend.”
You’re cheating on him or just seeing another guy. Or just want to avoid him entirely. I’ve gotten this one. I think every guy I know’s gotten this one and every woman I know has used some form of it. Believe it or not, we’d rather just get the rejection upfront.

“I never drink this much.”
Usually said while drunk. But come on, no one wants to admit they’re an alcoholic the first time they meet someone. That’s not sexy. Duh.

“I’m pregnant.”
I know someone this happened to. She told someone she was pregnant. He found out. Then when he confronted her, she revealed she wasn’t. It’s been used, therefore it is valid on this list

“I’ve never done this before.”
Your pants are on fire.

“I’ve only had sex with, like, 2 guys. Swears.”
In the beginning, we all tend to do some spacey-wacey maneuvering when it comes to the list. There’s the joke that men make their numbers bigger and women make theirs smaller. Of course, if it’s true then is it still a joke?

“I like Chuck and the Wu Tang Clan, too!”
No you don’t. You don’t like anything we do and you pretend that you do. We give the same line to you about other things. I mean, we have to get along somehow, right? But just to warn you, when we find out the truth, that you hate everything we love, it only stirs the awkward sauce.

“Everything’s fine.”
When everything’s fine, no one actually needs to say it.

“I’m a terrible liar.”
No, we just want to believe you so badly it doesn’t matter how good of a liar you are. Especially when it comes to the sex stuff.

There you have it, ladies. 11 lies that all of you combined might have used at some point. Again, we certainly ask you to tell some of them to us. Others…So my big question to you is: how many have you used? It’s okay, I won’t tell. Oh! Another question, which ones have you told that I didn’t list? Come on, don’t hog all the fun.

We’re gonna need a longer list,

The Dude
Collegecandy.com

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I missed the meaning “us”… Wednesday, Aug 10 2011 


So, I am really bumming tonight! I did something I should’ve never done, I googled ( stupid google with your powers of the search engine ) the ex-husband and saw that he’s still married to the whore that he left me for ( which they have a kid now ) and they are now living one state away from me. Weird because they were up North but in the military there are no choices of living, you basically are going where they decide.
I feel so many emotions right now, especially seeing an actual picture of him just made me wonder… what was it all for. I mean I feel like a piece of crap because I wish I never searched him. You know that feeling like if you could see the future for 10 seconds, would you or like reading a book or watching a movie, instead of reading through the story, you just skip to the last page, and you really wish you didn’t. And of course, like the crazy I am, ( you know it’s coming ) I searched the whore as well. I mean she is on the Book ( Facebook ) along with all my ex- in laws and old friends that go with one of a broken couple ( so I guess they all chose him because I have never heard from them since the divorce ). You spend 11 plus years with this person, their family becomes your family, friendships are made and just like that I don’t exist to any of these people that I formed relationships with so long ago.
It’s funny when you watch a movie and at one point there is a couple that breaks up and what do the mutual friends do or pick as on going friendship goes. Do you stay friends with both or drop one and stay with the other. Well, I must’ve lucked out because I got nobody, just the clothes on my back. Literally, all I got from 11 years together was my clothes I packed when I came back to Nola! I mean where the hell are my stuff! He left me, broke our marriage and kept everything that was mine! He got the girl ( or whore as I call her ) and a child, he could’ve at least give me my belongings! Where the hell is all the karma in this, he screwed me over, I had a great life, and now it’s all bullshit! I have been through the ringer the last 7 years and he’s got everything going for him. Ok, so I am slightly angry but when you 22 years old and marry the person you see yourself growing old with, the person who loves you and will protect you, just end everything right out of left field, you tend to have a lot of unanswered questions. I guess I will never get those answers.
I’m so angry, sad, and hurt. You think you know a person after 11 years and in a snap of a second they change before your eyes. I guess I’m just pissed because if he wasn’t the one then why am I on this ridiculous collision course of bad karma. It is one bad thing to another and I try to do the right thing so that way I know some sort of good should come my way.
When I saw his picture, he looked the same as the last day I saw him ( at the airport, I flew from Nola, to fix it, but he moved on in only 5 days that I remember us crying before my flight, walking away was the hardest thing in my life, because I knew in his eyes he was not mine anymore, so I walked to my gate in the airport, turning around one last time to see him ) at the airport. Gosh, I remember crying the whole flight back home, it felt so surreal. He looks as if he hadn’t aged in all these years, he still had the same military cut, his eyes looking away from the camera as always, and yet a part of me missed him. Its crazy, after all this time, don’t get me wrong I’m not carrying a torch for him, but i missed the meaning of him and I together, I missed us! I wonder what the gods had in store for me, why me? I just want to know why, I want that love and relationship that I had before with someone. I miss the old “us” but maybe the greater powers that be meant for me to come home and be with my family. I do cherish my family but when will it be my happy time again. I’m just waiting for that moment, you know, when you have all your crap together and you can finally breathe aloud to say now I get it! But, still searching or at least following whatever path I’m supposed to be on right now. I guess it’s true what they say ” you never know what you got, until it’s gone”. Maybe I didn’t appreciate the things I did have and took it for granted. Whatever, it may be I am home, in Nola with my family and friends. Who knows, maybe what life really has in store for me, was to begin now, now that I’m 40 years old and my perspective has changed due to all that I have gone through the last 7 years. I guess we will have to wait and find out…stay tuned! I think I will cry myself to sleep and hope that tomorrow will be a better day and a better hope for me.