Well, I was thinking about how today was the first time I said my age out loud when asked from the police officer who just pulled me over for a lame traffic violation. See, I just turned 40 years old literally 6 days ago and was slightly sad about this because I thought how did 40 run up and sucker punch me without some kind of warning! I know I’m a little dramatic. But, I have always been conscious about my appearance. No, it’s not that I am vain, but the opposite. In the last two years my weight has yo-yo up and down and is definitely not where I want for it to be ( maybe a good 30lbs to be slightly happier ) so when I leave for work or a function, I make sure I always look presentable because you never, ever know who you will run into! Trust me, you will run into someone you are least expected to see at anytime of the day. I have ventured out my house several times and could kick myself for doing this. But I think it’s just for a quick stop here or there and with no make-up, hair dirty ( pulled back with a headband ), and maybe not where the flattering of outfits. And I see how I look in the mirror, but I’m rushed to run a quick errand, I mean who is gonna see me, right? I think whatever and go. Wrong, of course, it is always at those rare occasions you run into an old boss, an ex-boyfriend, that cute guy or girl you have been crushing or maybe that one evil person ( its alway a girl trust me ) that just always gets under your skin, that spots you from afar or maybe up close and I think to myself “what the hell is my problem leaving the house looking like some crack whore”. It never fails, so after my last appearance as a C.W. when I ran into a previous owner of employment, I decided never again will I attempt to walk out the door without at least looking good ( maybe a cute hat, a pair of sunglasses, and throw on a cute sundress ). So, what I’m trying say ladies take my advice, look in the mirror before you leave the house. Don’t think it won’t matter because it will.
The reason I’m saying this is, if my insecurity about my +30lbs is visible to others who have not seen me in a while, than I will make sure to focus on my other beautiful features to feel good about myself. And see, I won’t give a crap to whoever I may will run into, because I look good and feel good about myself.
Now, I said I just turned 40 last week. I never have been a stickler about my age like my mother is. When I was growing up, I was the short girl with the young looking face. I remember getting my first fake I.D. when I was 16 years old, I memorized every bit of information on that I.D. ( see growing up in Nola, the legal drinking age at that time was 18 years old, so faking it out at 16 years old didn’t seem to be a far fetch ) but at 16 I didn’t even look it. I had such a baby face, and didn’t pass for 18 or even 16 years old. Growing up, my mom and Aunts would all say “when you are older, you will appreciate your youthful appearance” . And they were right, whenever someone would ask my age I told them and I always would get the same reply that they thought I was so much younger. Now, I totally appreciate it, because I definitely look like a young 30 year old. I think in the last 10 years I have maintained the skincare regime: always moisturize my face, use the fine line serums, apply sunscreen, no fake and bake ( but I do spray tan or use a sunless tanner ) and wear my make-up in a fashionable way. I think the last time I was carded in the French Quarter for dinner a few months ago, the server asked for my I.D. I was so joyful and excited. So, take pride in your skincare regime early because girls, trust me later in life all the sun damage, going out, and stress will catch up to you and age you in a heartbeat.
On my birthday last week, I woke up went to the bathroom, showered, and washed my face. I must have looked in the mirror for a good ten minutes wondering how did I get so old. My pores are slightly larger, no fine lines or wrinkles, yet ( as I knock on wood ), I have a herniated disc, and I spot a single gray strand of hair. But, here I am and I am just going not stress about it, I thought to myself I am freaking 40 years old, where did all the time go too! I mean today I was actually excited when my period came, not because I thought I could be prego but for the thought I am grateful for another month that I am not going into “the pause” ( I mean menopause but renamed it ). You maybe laughing at the fact that I think this, but it will come on early I have a feeling that it will be Mother Natures way of stabbing me in the heart because the pause will happen and that is just another sure sign of aging so called gracefully! We as women have to suck it up and take pride in our appearances, not because we are vain but we are judged based on first impressions. I mean look at all we have to go through: going to the gym weekly, fake and bake or spray tan once a week ( if you want to have a nice glow, not Snookie glow ) get our hair fix either by cut or color every 6 weeks, manicures/pedicures ( weekly or biweekly ) teeth whitening, skincare ( facials or led light therapy ) and whatever else floats your boat to maintain a certain youthfulness. The public eyes you up and down and has place judgement on you based on your initial meet, not even having a clue as what my intellect or interest might be. I too, have been guilty of this crime but now I have learned that I or any person has a lot to offer besides being judged on our looks. I know what you’re thinking it’s a double end sword, you’re damned if you or damned if you don’t. We have to basically market ourselves just to keep up with all the other women and men in the world. Now, some of you may have natural beauty and feel like you don’t have to participate in all that the plain janes of the world have to go through to look and play the part. I applaud you and jealous all at the same time. Not because I’m jealous of their natural beauty but it is that they don’t have to work at it as hard as I do to maintain certain appearances.
So, I guess that’s all and a big thank you to all the skincare, body, and haircare products being advertised or marketed in my head for making me, me! After all my mom doesn’t look a day over 50 and she is, so I guess I am thankful that I inherited her youthful genes. Thanks, Mom!

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