So, I have a friend who got engaged over the weekend. She is over the moon about this guy, she think she couldn’t get any better. But, the thing is, he is a scumbag, hate to admit it, he is a total loser. He has this idea that a woman should wait on the man, hand and foot. She has already given up most of her friends and cannot go out with her friends without him accompanying her. He never likes any of her friends ( me included ) and walks all over her like a doormat. I have voiced my opinion about him, several times to her, but she thinks since she is 37 years old and slightly on the curvy side that this is the only opportunity for marriage. See, in the beginning of their relationship she was the party girl, nice body, and had tons of friends. But, she put herself through school and worked fulltime. He was the big sports type, who lost the weight when he started working out and overnight decided he was gods gift to women. He was so sweet and a great guy, but like that he worshipped his body before anyone else including her. He expects for her to call him repeatedly, do his errands and he treats her to dinner or a spa when he has made his mistakes with her. He has even gone as far as using Facebook to IM her friends including me or texting her friends when he’s been out drinking. The problem is she thinks he’s just joking around because he’s been drinking and he hasn’t acted upon his jokes. Or so she thinks so. I mean she deserves a man who will treat her as she would to him. She is a great girl, owns a house, good job, why is it that men don’t find these qualities wonderful. When did we as women decide that being treated like crap was ok in the world, haven’t we as females overcome so much from the past that we deserve someone special instead of someone who is wrong. How do you tell the good friend that her fiancé is worthless, but make her see that being without him would be better than a lifetime of uncertainty and unhappiness. I believe that when you marry it is because this person you are with makes you unbelievably happy, there is this level of trustfulness, and no self doubt about the both of you spending the next 70 plus years together. Can you say with all your heart that this person will stand beside you, instead of ahead or behind you. Will this be the one who will care and support you not just finically but emotionally and physically. Will this person hold your hand when you’re happy or sad, carry the load of life’s ups and downs when you can not. Can you picture yourself 5, 10, 30, 50 years down the line and remember those vows you will plead before god, family and friends. Is this the man who will be a good father and mentor for your children. Because, these are the questions I will ask myself if and when that time comes, of the man I choose to marry. I had that once and would do anything to have that love and marriage as j did before. I see the mistakes that were made and know that marriage is hard work. But it is easier when you share your life with someone who will be there for you not because they want something in return or for you to be their mother and take care of them. We live in a world where people do not take the vows of matrimony seriously. I love my dear friend and I will have to try to show her that she deserves so much more, a better man, and a loving relationship before she makes this mistake with Mr. Douchebag. I hope that she will make the right decision.

“The worst thing a girl can do is trail after a boy when a love affair is dead.”
— Sophie Kinsella (Twenties Girl)

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