As I ponder my my upcoming 40th birthday, I want changes in my life. I am not a young adult but I am not over the hill, just somewhere in the middle. I want my life to be filled with love and happiness. I truly have the best support system between my family and friends. The man in my life loves me but, is he “the one”, my soulmate, or even my future, I cannot answer that without
159% possibility of what makes me happy. I want to be the woman I once was, happy, in love, and 50 lbs. skinnier. I need to to love myself no matter the amount of confidence I have, I need to feel better about myself. So I decided to make the changes that will make my 40th birthday not so depressing. See, I don’t have a problem with my age, but I never thought that when I turned 40 I wouldn’t be married, no children, or a have some sort of idea what I want to do in my life. I thought when I got married it would be for a lifetime. But I guess life had other plans for me. So, I will make this pact: I have 6 months ( New Year’s Eve to be exact ) I will be the skinnier version I once was, and finally make an effort in my happiness to decide is the man I’m with my future or my regret. See, I will give him time and affection that I have turned away long ago. If in this time I have not changed my feelings for him, then I will make the decision that I have been such a coward to do so now. I have built this wall between us because he has disappointed me many times, but now I will try and make an effort for the both of us. If this doesn’t work out for the both of us, at least I will know I tried with all my heart. So, goodbye to the smokes, the fatty foods, the wall around him and I, and I will keep positive because it’s my life. It will be hard but I will do my best to make it happen, I am in charge of my life and my future. I want to see and feel that happiness on daily basis. On a side note, I refuse to give up nor will I give up my number #1 thing that I need is my Starbucks, I’ll just make it skinny and drop the whip! I will read this quote each day to make my journey a bit easier…..

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